


Fuck the list

by bobleak



Category: Bandom, Fall Out Boy, Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-11
Updated: 2017-01-24
Packaged: 2018-04-25 23:01:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4979989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bobleak/pseuds/bobleak
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oh fuck it he's a fanboy, so shoot him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Dan has a type. Granted they’re usually taller, and appear to have tried to grow out of their emo phase in a desperate attempt to ‘adult’ but, oh fuck it he’s a fanboy so shoot him. It’s not like the guys unattractive anyway, and Phil’s been playing on the thing he had for Patrick Stump’s voice since he was 18 so he can’t help that him singing goes straight to his dick.

He wasn’t planning on getting drunk and having an existential crisis so bad it required fall out boy, especially when fall out boy were staying in the same fucking hotel as them (how is this his life?). In his defense how was he supposed to know that whilst lying facedown on his bed shouting along to cork tree the band he spent his early teens crying over had just checked in and been given the rooms next door, that would be a completely unreasonable assumption.

When there is a knock on the door his first conclusion is that it’s Phil despite the fact Phil is on a family holiday in Germany and it’s 4:30am in Birmingham.Therefore it’s not his fault he looks up rather than down and then concludes he’s either dead or dreaming because Patrick fucking Stump just knocked on his door.


	2. Chapter 2

“I thought it was you...” he opened with and Dan concludes that, yep definitely dead "...I bought some JD can I join the party?” Dan isn't sure how he landed in heaven but of course you can join the party you’re Patrick fricken Stump. He has very vague memories of the following 5 bloody hours before he locks himself in the bathroom and frantically texts Phil.

 _‘remember in 2009 when we made a list of celebrities we were allowed to fuck? Does that still stand??’_. The response comes after about 30 seconds of awkward foot shuffling.

_‘Yes kinda, why??’'_

_'Ok so I can fuck Patrick Stump?’_ This isn’t real, this cannot be his life.

‘ _He wasnt even on the list???’_ Are you fucking kidding me there is no way in hell 18 year old Dan forgot to put Patrick on that list, come the fuck on Phil, get your head out of your arse, he starts to type those precise words before realising that he is far too drunk for that argument right now and just going with:

_‘Look can I fuck Patrick Stump Phil, that’s all I need to know’_

_‘Sure???’_ . He debates making sure Phil actually knows that this is going to happen now; because Jesus loves him or something, but he has been in the bathroom far too long to pass any more time off as just peeing and this will definitely never happen again. He’ll fill him in later,and be sure to get some kind of spit take out of it.

Patrick is fucking sprawled halfway across his bed by the time he gets back. Dan really hopes he can pass the consequent blush off on the booze, especially when he turns his head acknowledging him with a smile that’s fucking radiant. Dan can’t tell if he’s nervous or excited but either way his heart is going to beat out of his chest at any moment and he will miss out on prime bucket list material, which quite frankly is not an option. With an inward prayer of 'don't fuck this one up Howell' he returns the smile and joins Patrick on the bed.


	3. Chapter 3

Patrick is tipsy and giggly and so fucking adorable Dan thinks he might melt, so when he pulls him over by the shirt collar of course he turns bright red and of course he leans into the kiss and oh God this is not like kissing Phil at all. It's softer and more thoughtful, and this is weird but in a good way. He's still grabby in just the right way the only difference is he's exercising a little more caution and Dan appreciates it, really he does it’s just that normally he wouldn't even think about anything like this. Him and Phil aren’t in an open relationship per say they're just open. And he will resume all further brain function when Patrick stump isn't pinning his wrists to a hotel mattress and when he is less worried about cumming in his pants before anyone even gets naked.  
“Is this, I mean, is this okay?” This is fucking fantastic if Dan is being a hundred percent honest but his brain won't allow for that so he just nods dumbly and he probably looks a fucking wreck right now he knows his face is bright red and ugh Patrick is going to realise he's a weirdo any minute now and just walk straight out the door before he gets to see him naked and that would be a travesty. Of course when Patrick lets go of his wrists he assumes the worst until, “Don't move Dan I'll be five minutes tops.” Dan is about to go into cardiac arrest, he's pretty sure. Oh God Patrick from fall out boy is probably a kinky fucker and maybe possibly actually wants to put his dick in him. His brain is on fire and he has never been so pleased that he isn't straight. If his heart could just slow down so he can catch his breath though that would be great too.

Dan is half convinced Patrick has left by the time he makes his way back into the room, he’s only in his underwear, he really doesn’t know how his life ended up this good but who is he to look a gift horse in the mouth. He also has no idea where his confidence comes from when he pulls himself up onto his knees and pulls the older man down into a kiss but he figures even if it all goes to shit from here he can most definitely die happy.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own them this probably never happened.


End file.
